Pujangga

Wild Women

London,

You do not have to be good, the wild women say,
There’s no need to be brave, reassuringly.
How does one unlearn the ethic of one’s youth, I ask them,
That treats the body like a beast of burden
A carrot, a stick: lacerations beget nourishment,
The tears in Lent: forgive me for I have sinned
Agnus Dei qui tollis peccata mundi,

It took me a decade to learn that God never died
As a concept, nor as a man in Golgotha
But weaved in the waves of the universe
    and the winter winds
    and the birdcalls at dawn
    and my eyes beholding the moon on this quiet night
A totality I had not grasped

If a leap of faith is what’s needed
to trust Myself again
I’ll let the wild women guide my fall
into reconciliation
Dona nobis pacem.